


Never again

by Gabriel4Sam



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 03:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel4Sam/pseuds/Gabriel4Sam
Summary: When trying to save Obi-Wan's life, Kit went further that he should have. Nobody could have predicted the consequences.





	Never again

The light was the last thing Obi-Wan would remember from that moment. Not the crash of his fighter or his efforts, his desperate struggle, to emerge from the cockpit, or even his leg, half crushed under the instrument panel.

He would only remember the light of the surface and thinking he would never see it again, thinking he would die here in the cold. Drowned bodies aren’t exactly nice and in a last, petulant thought, he hoped he wouldn’t be retrieved for his friends to see.

Then he knew no more.

The next thought was for the strength of a mind against his, carefully nudging him. His own mind was sluggish, uncooperative, but that other mind was persistent. He felt it whispering against his own, bolstering Obi-Wan’s insufficient strength to keep him from sleep. Obi-Wan’s mind seemed ready to lose himself into the void but that mind was strong enough for two, persistent, tenacious. It kept Obi-Wan’s own conscience surrounded by its protection, it insisted, it commanded, until finally the void retreated.

“Here you are,” said a voice and it was warm and relieved. Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find the black ones, big and protruding, of Master Kit Fisto.

“You need to let us, other Councillors, our speciality, my dear Obi-Wan. What an idea you had to try breathing under water,” and under the cheerful tone, Obi-Wan perceived the fear the other Master had had, that Obi-Wan was already too far gone to touch. His ribs ached from what was certainly some vigorous cardiac massage and his mind felt raw, tender from Kit’s efforts to keep him from passing into the Force.

And under it, he could feel the thoughts of Kit, the same raw feeling in his mind, the exhaustion, the refusal to lose another Jedi and hundred other little things. The Nautolean seemed to have a very active mind, open to Obi-Wan as a flower in full blossom despite some strong shields.

“Oh, dear,” said Obi-Wan.

“Yes, that sum it up nicely,” remarked Kit.

*****

“Hmm, interesting, very interesting,” the Chadra-Fan Jedi healer said first, after trying different crystals and scanners and poking them in too many tender places.

“Bad interesting, or good intere-careful with the head tentacles, if you please Healer,” answered Kit Fisto.

Seated on a second bed, Obi-Wan could only admire the other Master’s phrasing. He could feel Kit’s head tentacles, how sensitive they were, how the simple touch from the crystal and the Force infused by generation of healers in it, were torturous. Obi-Wan wasn’t new to headaches, but apparently Nautolean took it to another level. He could feel also the misery of Kit, his skin dry and painful after their flight to Coruscant. They had rushed in the first transport possible, desperate for the Temple Healers, anxious that every hour bound their minds more closely, anxious this would only keep growing until they were only one entity.

Friendship and respect were well and good but already, Obi-Wan had felt Kit understanding things about him not even his old, beloved Master had been privy to, and he had once or twice almost lost himself in Kit’s thoughts and memories, strangely coloured by senses that worked so differently from human ones.

A panel of Healers conferred gravelly then the first one came back to them:

“There are a lot of things we could try,” said the Healer finally, his high-pitched voice grating to their ears and their double headache.

“But nothing before some deep meditations for the two of you.”

Obi-Wan cringed immediately but it was Kit who voiced their concerns:

“It’s already difficult to remember I’m the Nautolean of the pair. I won’t pretend I’m as skilled as you in the matter of the minds, Master Healer, but we’re…I mean, I’m concerned deep meditation will only increase that bridge between us.”

The small Healer patted his knee, perhaps a little patronisingly, but still a mark of comfort.

“Meditation. Sleep. Perhaps not in that order. A nice soak, for the two of you also.” And Obi-Wan almost nodded along, because his tentacles were parched, before he remembered he didn’t have any.

“And some food, too, I know your types, you Generals. Always thinking you can cheat the demand of the bodies.”

“That seems almost like a vacation.” Kit said and Obi-Wan could feel the desire to stay cheerful, to present to the Healer the face of a Councillor, strong and capable, and how much Kit did it most of the time for the moral of the Order, so low in this war which didn’t seem to ever finish.

“Hmpff.” The Chadra-Fan didn’t seem convinced and he left them alone.

“To my quarters,” Kit ordered, “the bath is bigger that the closet you’re thinking of as your fresher. We couldn’t stand together in that.”

“Are you proposing we bath together?”

“Try to think of being separated, you’ll see- oh Stars, no, Obi-Wan, stop, you’re making us nauseous.”

And yes, Kit’s bathroom was thrice the size of Obi-Wan, his quarters adapted to his physiology. There was even an inclined plan in the small pool, which served as a bed. Obi-Wan disrobed without hesitation. He couldn’t exactly tell where his mind ended and Kit’s own mind started, so nakedness of the bodies seemed so unimportant, in comparison.

The water was warm, slightly salted, just perfect and their twin groans of pleasure seemed almost obscene.

And it was so easy to relax, to let the water bear their weight and their minds float in the Force.

Together, they touched the Force. Obi-Wan feared he would forget his need for breath and slip under water and it was so natural to let his body rely on Kit. The meditation came naturally, deep, inescapable, a slow avalanche that swallowed them, like something had clicked and could go nowhere but to its natural end.

Under the strength of their two joined minds, even the whispers of miasma that infused the Force on Coruscant couldn’t touch them right now. Their minds soared into the Force, letting its waves bear them as the water lapping around them. They let lose their desperate grips on their shields relax. Here, in the Force, the risk of becoming the same individual, to loose each other to become one mind in two bodies, didn’t seem as terrifying. They were Jedi, united in the Force, released of the need of their individual trajectories. No more Obi-Wan, no more Kit, just a Jedi, who had been once two, and they soared, higher, higher, the Force flowing into them, filling out the cup of their being.

Higher, higher, until Mace Windu yelled under the strength of the gigantic shatterpoint he could feel somewhere in the Councillor quarters, until Yoda fainted, until everywhere on Coruscant Jedi developed headaches, needed to sit down or simply passed out.

Higher, higher, two of the most powerful of their generations as one, until all the Force on the city planet seemed to pass into their beings, until a shadow in the Senate hissed and convulsed.

“Oh, it’s you, it’s simply you.”, said Obi-Wan or perhaps it was Kit, no one of them could have tell. In the bath, two fists raised themselves and squeezed and Darth Sidious simply exploded.

And, simply, naturally, their eyes opened again and their minds detached and it was so lonely, so difficult to be forsaken alone in one body, when they had been two in one. Twin sobs as they understood what they have had, for a moment, what they never would have again.

Obi-Wan was crying when he kissed Kit for the first time.

Febrile, Kit answered, hungry, feverish, chasing the closeness they had just lost.

What a fool they had been to fear it. And now, alone, alone for ever.

The kisses became frantic, biting, like they were trying to climb into each other. They chased the closeness and pleasure of bodies into each other arms, instead of the bond they would never know again.

The pleasure itself, when they tumbled into it, seemed a pale imitation.

Never again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr too under the same username. Come and say hi!


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